


lost my senses, i'm defenseless

by booksteaandcake



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cupboard Sex, Drarry, Enemies, Enemy Lovers, Feelings, Fluff and Smut, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Short & Sweet, Smut, draco is in denial sort of, the sex scene is actually pretty small
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksteaandcake/pseuds/booksteaandcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Typical Draco and Harry hate each other but they secretly have sex story. Smutty but also feelings. Draco might just be falling in love with Harry, <em>maybe<em> he's just a horny kid but... mostly love.</em></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	lost my senses, i'm defenseless

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Drarry! Sorry if it's bad.

It’s no secret that I am attracted to Potter. Well… it’s a secret to everybody but me. I am not at all ashamed of my feelings and thoughts and nor  _ should  _ I be but it has to stay quiet because my father would be ashamed. Just imagine. Lucius Malfoy having a son as gay as Albus Dumbledore. As bent as that bloodtraitor Weasley’s wand was in second year. I glance over at him, he is sitting with his friends, the red headed fool and the Granger girl, hunched over a bowl of porridge. Wrinkling up my nose because I can’t  _ stand  _ porridge, I glance down at my plate of food, but right away my attention is snatched back. I just can’t keep my eyes off of him. In first year, it was easier to ignore him. I still talked to him (not in the nicest of manners) but I didn’t feel like I would really like to hear him saying dirty things to me beneath the sheets. Then it all began to build up in third year. That’s when everybody was really starting to notice people in more than just a friendly way. It just so happens that my feelings weren’t towards girls, but to boys. Said boy being Harry Potter. I went through the hate sketches I used to draw of him when we first started at Hogwarts and I realised even if I put devil horns on his head or whatever, he still looked insanely attractive. If I hated him, I would have made him look as horrific as possible but no, I made him look like a sweet little angel. Those drawings have also progressed, they’re less  _ sweet  _ and more… well - not anything I would want shared with the world. Just thinking about that is making my skin sweat and burn like I’ve turned bright red. 

 

“Malfoy, are you alright?” Goyle asks at my side, “You’re looking a bit-”

 

“Shut up, Goyle.” 

 

He shuts up. 

 

I’m in a particularly bad mood this morning… waking up after having less than PG dreams about Potter always makes me feel ashamed and tired and filthy the day after. The one last night… it was very intense. He walked in on me in the potions room late at night and without speaking tore my shirt off, ripped my pants down to below my legs and kept the tie on. He thought he would have all the power but  _ please,  _ I’m me and he is, well,  _ him,  _ so I snatched the power right back and I fucked him right into oblivion… shaking my head, I stop it before it gets too far and I have to rush back to the dorms. Luckily it’s a Saturday, I got to sleep in a little later and I have nothing to do all weekend. Well, I have a tiny bit of homework, but that can wait. 

 

“Are you going to eat?” Crabbe asks, he is on my other side. 

 

“Shut up, Crabbe.” 

 

I feel my two ‘friends’ exchange glances with one another and then they are gazing at me with curiosity and I can’t stand it, I hate when they question me. My eyes follow Potter because he has risen to his feet and is walking across the hall to the doors and he is  _ alone _ . For a split second, those green eyes,  _ god they are beautiful,  _ meet mine and he silently says something which I’m not exactly sure of but I know what he wants. Waiting for a few moments, I pretend to be contemplating the food on my plate but that’s not what I am hungry for. I’m craving something else. Ignoring Crabbe and Goyle’s questioning looks, I get to my feet and make my own way through the doors. 

 

We’ve only done this a few times. It doesn’t  _ mean  _ anything, as Potter tells me every single time, but when we do do it, it’s always in the same place. A broom closet just around the corner from the Charms class, it’s a short walk to get there and when I do, he is waiting. It’s quite big for a broom cupboard, roomy and bright thanks to a small window. 

 

“Took your time.” He says in greeting, a small smile meeting the corners of his lips but it fades again, and his eyes turn cold - back to normal. 

 

“Sorry,  _ Potter _ .” I snap, “I didn’t realise I had to fit myself to you. I was eating breakfast.”

 

“And yet I’m sure you didn’t eat a bite because your stomach is still butterflies from spying on me in the Quidditch changing rooms last night after practice.” 

 

Feeling my pale face flame up, I shake it off and roll my eyes, sneering at him. “You fucking wish. Why would I be trying to sneak a glance at you? There are much more… attractive people.”

 

“I saw you there.” He retorts.

 

“Maybe there are  _ other  _ people I like to watch in the changing rooms!”

 

With an amused look on his face, Harry lifts his fingers to the collar of his shirt and adjusts it sharply. He’s not wearing his uniform today, which is a shame. I wanted to see him in nothing but a tie. 

 

“Don’t tell me you were trying to sneak a peek at Fred and George.” 

 

“Of course not, those filthy blood-” 

 

“Whatever.” He cuts me off, and I feel slightly bad for insulting the Weasley family in front of Harry, they are so good to him. 

 

_ Merlin,  _ I think to myself,  _ why am I feeling guilty for saying something? I don’t care about him. He’s just… eye candy.  _

 

“Let’s get on with this then. Me and Ron have homework to do.” Harry says, clapping his hands like a lame coach. 

 

I feel a surge in my chest and I jerk my head up, eyes immediately scanning over the Gryffindor boy’s face. He looks particularly good today, clear skin with a well rested flush to his cheeks, a nice glow. My insides twist, I  _ need  _ to stop thinking like this but… 

 

“You and Ron.” I say, testing it out on my tongue. “What kind of homework?”

 

“Are you serious?” He asks narrowing his eyes, and when I don’t say anything he rolls his eyes, “We have a Defense essay due. So do you.” 

 

I don’t say anything, and then I feel slightly sick as I watch his face turn to one of humour. 

 

“Oh, you want the  _ truth. _ ” He says with a teasing tone to his words, “Sorry. Yes, I’m going to fuck Ron into the bed so hard that he will be screaming out my name,  _ begging  _ me to stop, and he will be so loud that Hermione will come in and join, wanking me off as Ron puts on a little show. Maybe Seamus and Dean will walk in and it will turn into a nice orgy.” 

 

I gulp audibly, because even if I am jealous and irritated, just hearing him talk like that makes me hard through the material of my trousers and… I am very jealous, to be honest. I know it’s a lie, that would never happen but - still. I get protective over what is mine. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. He’s a Gryffindor, ‘The Chosen One’, he’s  _ Potter _ . 

 

“I could tell that to my father and it would be all over the news.” I say, attempting a haughty nature but it doesn’t faze him in the slightest. Nothing does these days, not since facing The Dark Lord. Obviously. 

 

“But you won’t.” 

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I just do.”

 

He has such an arrogance to him. I’m arrogant too, and rude, and then I’m  _ hated  _ by everyone in Hogwarts. Harry does it but he also saves the world and has dead parents so everyone  _ loves  _ him. That’s one of the reasons I despise him, honestly. I wouldn’t say it but I think it is obvious to pretty much everyone. 

 

“I hate you.” I say then, and it’s kind of more as a reminder to myself because I keep finding myself wanting to cuddle him or something, or spill my saddest words and hear him say everything will be okay and place a kiss on my forehead and… well, I can’t think like that. 

 

“I hate you more.” He replies, a childish retort but he says it coldly and I believe it. 

 

“Not possible.” I snap, taking a step closer. There’s not a lot of distance between us but we aren’t close enough, not yet. “Every single fibre in my body is melting into one, one liquid, one entity of  _ hatred _ .” 

 

“Malfoy,” Harry replies, also taking a step, “You couldn’t sound more ridiculous if you tried. That stupid voice of yours, all… all….”

 

“Cat got your tongue?” I taunt, I step. 

 

“Shove off.”

 

“You’re the one who told me to come here.” I hiss through my teeth. 

 

“No, I didn’t say anything. You just followed me. It’s not my fault you’re obsessed with me.” 

 

“Obsessed with plotting ways to murder you because I despise you that much.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

We’re so close now, but I continue going, walking so that he is forced to continue going backwards until he is pressed up against the stone wall. He’s hot, I can feel it, his breaths growing more and more ragged because I am teasing him all of a sudden, my lips are dancing across the skin of his neck. Not sucking there or anything, not doing anything to mark, simply letting the warmth of my breath make him tingle. 

 

“I was thinking just a normal  _ avada kedavra, _ ” I murmur, “But that would be so easy. I would drag it out. Maybe I would tie you to a post so you have nowhere to go and I would be in complete control, you would be my plaything. I would have complete power over you, I could curse you or I could just make you moan, there are so many ways I could make you  _ scream  _ until you are begging for me to stop.” 

 

“This something you’ve been thinking about for a while?” He manages to bite out, but he is breathless and that makes me squirm in triumph. 

 

I walk my fingers up from the area above the waistband of his trousers, up past his navel and then up to his chest, I rest my palm flat there and it just so happens to be against where his heart is. I can feel it rushing, thudding, pounding. His breaths are quickening. 

 

“I’ve been wanting to kill you since the moment I met you.”

 

“I bet.” Harry whispers, his eyelids fall shut and he lets out a small moan because I have began to suckle at the skin of his neck, so gently, but then my teeth nip at it, biting down. He winces and I let my tongue trace a pattern over the area that’s now turned slightly red. 

 

“I’ve wanted to hear you crying out in agony as you plead,  _ please Malfoy, please…” _

 

“You’ve got me right where you want me.” He hisses, “Just get it over with.” 

I want to say no, that I will drag it out for as long as I bloody well want, but my erection is pressing hard now and I feel like I won’t be able to hold it in for that long and I want to let my juices inside of him, I want to bury myself into him, and I want to roughly tousle my fingers into his hair and then I want to bite his lip hard so that it bleeds and then I want to lick it up and then I want to kiss him… no, no kissing, I stop myself. I am nervous, I always am - but also as always, I move with a deliberate easy coolness, my fingers not fumbling as I unbutton his shirt. He slips it off of his shoulders, revealing his pale, toned torso. Glancing down at them, I trail the tip of my finger along the planes of his abs, before returning to undressing him. Removing his belt, I let him take off his own shoes and the remains of his clothes whilst I undress myself. He’s red in the face and shaking and breathing so heavily that it’s like the annoying rhythm of a drum, I feel myself smirk at that. He may make me nervous but I do the same to him, and he’s not even any good at hiding it. I remove all of my clothes but the black boxer shorts that I must say, cling especially well to my toned arse. He’s completely naked though, standing with his back to the wall still, and both of our eyes are examining the other. He’s got a decent length, and it’s most definitely hard and eager to release already and we haven’t even started. 

 

“Come here.” I order in a low, but clear voice and he obliges, walking forward with shaking steps, not that there are many required, he is just taking his time. 

 

When we are close again, I lift my hand and allow myself to stroke my finger across the skin of his cheek because it is soft and nice and it makes me feel warm and tingly. My touch must be cold, for it makes him shudder. Our eyes meet, green meeting grey-blue. A beautiful meadow being swallowed by the nearing storm. The gazes burn with fury and envy and lust and… I wonder what he sees in mine. I wonder if sees the hidden love and care because I can’t help it, I really can’t, but everytime I look at his beautiful, innocent face I soften. My cock does the opposite of soften, of course. 

 

“On your knees.” I murmur. 

 

He doesn’t do it right away, and so I lift my hand sharply and in a harsh action, I tangle my hand into his mess of black hair and I push down, so that he is forced to his knees. He lets out a whimper as they whack the stone floor beneath us and I feel bad again but internally scold myself. 

 

“Take off my pants.” 

 

When I first got here, he was all for verbal sparring but now he is silent as he follows every single order I snap at him. With shaking hands, he lifts up and grips onto the material of my snug fitting underwear and he pulls it down, down to my ankles, and I step out of them. My erection is strong, let’s say. I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting (though I really am intending to boast) but I am pretty huge anyway, so you can imagine how big I get when I am standing naked with Potter, equally naked, in a tiny broom cupboard in the school where we could so easily be caught. 

 

“Are you really pathetic enough that you need me to give you instructions?” I force out, “ _ Suck _ .”

 

He takes my length in his hand and tilts his head back slightly, mouth widening as he lowers it onto my dick, and his lips look so pink and pretty wrapped around me. He doesn’t take it all the way though, so I tear at his hair again, forcing his head forward, and he chokes slightly when I get to the back of his throat and it makes me smile with pleasure, the sound of him gasping for air as he is wrapped around me…  _ so good _ . I begin to thrust my hips, and we build up a pattern, he continues to moan and I don’t bother telling him to stay silent because it just sound so good. Like sick music to my ears. 

 

“That’s right, Potter.” I exhale out, my head moving back and my chin tilting into the air as I revel in how good it feels. “Suck it like the dirty little slut you are.”

 

When it’s good enough, I pull out of his mouth and yank him back up to his feet. I don’t know why I do it, considering he’s just had them all over my dick, but he is looking at me with wide green eyes and… I swiftly press my mouth against his lips. They’re so soft and they taste of pumpkin juice and toothpaste and he doesn’t shove me off. He moves into it, actually. It’s funny. We’ve slept together quite a few times now (well, not slept) but we have never actually kissed. It awakens new things in me. Not just horny teenager feelings, not just lust and sex craving but it makes me feel like the sun will shine brighter from now on, like my heart will pulse from my chest and like every single happy thought I have ever had is magnifying to make one big storm of happy. When we break apart, both of us seem as stunned as the other. Wide eyes meet wide eyes, he parts his lips into a small gasp and we are still. Everything seems frozen, stuck in a moment as we both pant breathlessly. I want to do it again, I want to kiss him and then fold him into my arms but… but I’m Malfoy of Slytherin and he is Potter of Gryffindor so I push it all aside.

 

“Find something to hold onto.” I say, trying to sound sharp but it comes out in a strangled breath. 

 

Looking incredibly dazed, he nods and turns around, and he bends over with his legs slightly apart and his hands holding onto a rickety table, revealing his hole. He’s still so tight, and there is a huge part of me thinking that the first time we did this he lied. I definitely believe he was a virgin. I was his first time. He’s mine too. I lied, why wouldn’t he? We’ve moved on now but my head is still stuck in the kiss, my find is a fuzzy mess, I am ashamed to admit. I need to stop letting fucking  _ Potter  _ get into my mind. Moving closer to him again, I let my hands take a hold of his hips and he shudders again, my hands cold against his burning skin. Or maybe he is shuddering because I am a guy and he shouldn’t like it, or because I am a Slytherin and he shouldn’t like it, or because I am  _ me  _ and he shouldn’t like it. He should hate it, and so should I, but it is the one pleasure I find myself craving. We don’t have lube, and even though my dick is still kind of wet from his own saliva and also a tiny bit of precum that leaked from the tip, I reach around for my wand, doing a spell which Blaise Zabini was talking about once in the common room, making me nice and lubricated so it won’t hurt Harry as much.  _ No, not so it doesn’t hurt him,  _ I scold myself again,  _ so that it feels good for  _ me,  _ I don’t care about Potter _ . My hands return to his waist and this time be doesn’t shudder, I notice with relief. Then I position myself and enter into him and I gasp out and smile as he lets out another moan. I should be saying stuff like,  _ take it like the slut you are _ and  _ you whore, only whores like it rough  _ \- I am suddenly pounding in and out of him so hard that it must be burning inside of him but he is loving every ounce of it, but those words don’t come. 

 

“Oh baby.” I breathe out so quietly he can’t possibly hear over his whimpers. “...so good for me, baby.” 

 

I hear our bodies colliding every single time I slam into him and the table he is holding onto for support keepings squeaking, and I worry it will break or something and he will fall whilst I’m still inside of him because who knows how  _ that  _ would turn out. 

 

“I’m gonna-” I pant out, unable to finish my sentence because  _ I  _ am so ready to finish, I can’t hold it in any longer but… but I don’t want my time with him to be over.  _ Stop it,  _ I hiss at my heart, because it is radiating warmth through my veins which are pulsing with heating blood which is making my skin scald bright red, sweat sheening all over my naked body. Eventually though, I feel myself let go and I come inside of him, my seed spreading through his body and he lets out another moan, this one much more satisfied and low - more like the purr of a kitten. He is crashed onto the table slightly, head in his hands as he pants tiredly and I pull out of him. We don’t say anything as I root around for my clothes. I consider handing him his but…. I can’t be nice to him. We  _ hate  _ each other. Burning hatred. As I dress, I can feel him watching me. He is buttoning up his shirt distractedly, his green eyes on me the whole time that I am tying the laces of my shoes. By the time I am fully dressed he is still struggling with it and I roll my eyes because he has missed all the correct buttons, holes revealing his skin beneath the shirt. 

 

“You missed a few.” I point out, and when he just blinks at me in confusion I walk closer to him. 

 

“Are you in headspace or something?” I mutter. 

 

“No.” He replies, and his voice is surprisingly clear considering his seemingly zoned out status. “I just knew you were going to do that.”

 

“What?” I ask with a frown, and he gestures down to my hands. 

 

I’ve started correcting his buttons. Like a fucking wife does to a husband. 

 

“Uh… s-” I break off, because I’m Draco Malfoy, I don’t say sorry. 

 

“No.” He says again, “Don’t say sorry. I wanted you to do it.”

 

“Why?” I ask, narrowing my eyes, “That’s a weird thing to want.”

 

“No it’s not, it was a calculated move really. I knew you would come this close that I could easily do this.” 

 

He pulls my chin, tilting my head to the perfect angle that he can kiss me again. I squeeze my eyes shut, letting myself get lost, pulled back into the sunshine. It glows around me, shining through my body and through my veins and to my head and my toes and my heart. Everything is good again. 

 

_ Click _

 

We break apart, the door is opening and we are about to be  _ caught,  _ my eyes are wide and frantically I think fast, shoving him hard against the wall and whipping my wand out from my pocket, pressing the tip of it to his throat and we turn our heads to see who is standing in the doorway. Simultaneously, we breathe out sighs of relief because it’s only some tiny first year who probably doesn’t even know us. Well, I say that, she is a Gryffindor and she is looking at Harry with nothing but awe.

 

“ _ Harry Potter _ !”

 

“Uh… yeah.” Harry replies. “We, we were- we were just-”

 

“Duelling.” I cut him off smoothly, my voice is as cold and haughty as ever, the last moments gone. “Away from the prying eyes of snotty first years. Excuse you.”

 

The girl blinks her childish eyes and then she is gone, the door closing behind her. 

 

“That was close.” I say, shaking my head. 

 

“You could say that.” Harry mutters, shoving my hand holding the wand away. “Let’s, uh- I don’t know.”

 

“Do this again.” I suggest an ending to his sentence in a hushed whisper, like I am scared of the words. I kind of am. 

  
He agrees, nodding his head, and then he is gone from the cupboard without so much as a kiss goodbye. 


End file.
